There have been several conversations amongst my friends where this question has been asked, usually in jest as a Zen riddle. It crops up when we play D&D, and it’s meant to illustrate the silliness of the system based on a previous campaign. As such it is almost always brought up when something that would work just fine in the Real World (TM) is utterly impossible in the fantasy realms we play in because of the mechanics set forth in the d20 system (actually this particular gripe endures from the days when Chainmail was adapted for the TSR- later Wizards of the Coast- system).
It works like this: In any given situation, a creatures occupies a multiple of 5-foot squares. Five feet wide by five long. One such square will accommodate a standard ‘medium-sized’ creature, such as a human, or dwarf, or elf. Four (10′ x 10′) will accommodate an ogre. So far, so good. The space is meant to encompass not only the creature, but his actions within the square (i.e. holding a sword or axe, the backpack hanging off his back, his need to move freely).
The problems arise when one is forced to do something like design a room in a dungeon. In a standard 15′ x 15′ room, only 9 people will fit. But what if they’re prisoners? Slaves? Purposely stacked like cords of wood? How do you design a dramatic fight in a 15′ x 15′ room, a room which is large by most people’s standards? With more than 4 people in the room, it becomes too crowded to fight. I think the joke originated because someone put far more than 9 people in this room (I’m sure one of the group members can chime in with the exact origins).
Then other idiotic things pop up. If I am holding a spear or lance, why am I not required to have more than five feet in front or behind me? I certainly have reach with the weapon (meaning I can reach a target more than five feet away), but I am not required to have any additional room to wield it. Similarly, a ten-foot long spiked chain or bull whip does not require any extra space at your sides to gain the momentum in the swing. Nothing is ever mentioned of the height of the room.
This of course is for the sake of expedience. No one really wants to calculate distances, arcs, etc. But it does make for humorous conversations and situations. Thankfully, most of the time players will be easy-going enough to accept from the Dungeon Master that no, they cannot wield a ten-foot chain in a corridor only 5 feet wide by five tall. Other times, well, I guess that’s why we have suspension of disbelief.
Oh god, I’ve actually missed this joke and reminds me how much I miss playing DnD with you guys with my completely legal, balanced and properly aligned characters who never took an unwarranted action.
If I remember right, and I can’t remember if it was Carl or Jay running the game but we were in a prison cage (4 of us) with like 15 prisoners and that started the whole thing off. Then anytime we came into a room that was 15 x 15 or found a jail cell, the joke became automatic.
As for the spiked chain, the DM should never place constraints on that entirely legal and balanced weapon. I mean its not even that great, even a +1 flame enhancement doesn’t make it better. I mean, I only used to do like base 60 points of damage with power attack with it to creatures 10 feet away from me. How is that not fair and balanced? Plus it can be used as a 5ft attack weapon.
I think its fair and shame on you sir for suggesting it should be limited.
Plus who builds a dungeon with 5ft ceilings? Gnomes, Halflings and Dwarves I guess but c’mon.
No, it was Jay, and it was a 4′x6′ cage.
That’s right, I remember now. But seriously, wasn’t there like 15 people in there?
Ah yes. 4′ x 6′ cage. The answer is one. According to standard d20 rules, only one person fits in such a cage.