(and no, I didn’t even realize they were podcasting…)

“yeah, that’s what we’re hoping for!”

“What, like the back of a Volkswagen?”

My parents were the royalty of double-standards. Some of the inevitable doublethink* and doublespeak* were hilarious, and some of it was insanely tragic. Through them I acquired a really shitty veneer of neo-con attitudes to hide my insecurities and desires. So I understand what kids go through who have parents like that. Not just with sexual experimentation (which wasn’t my focus… at least, not with dudes), but with anything. Drinking, drugs, porn, driving with only one hand on the wheel and the other changing radio stations…

Girls, I think, have more incentive to cross over and experiment. For one, once they are out from under the oppressors, it’s almost cool to sleep with another girl. Guys will think you are totally awesome, and girls (at least, the ones who aren’t prudish bitches with sticks up their asses) will figure you can party harder than anyone, you’re so hardcore. You’re liberated, to be admired.

And girls ARE more liberated. There is far, far, less stigma attached to girl-on-girl action. Think of virginity, for example. Say two girls never ever have sex with men, just eachother. Are they still virgins? Anyone who even has to think about the answer to that is unfortunately being influenced by the way society thinks of sex as a penetrative act, a marking of territory by men.

It’s a frakked-up world, to be sure. I was listening to some radio thing once where a girl being interviewed said that no sex except vaginal penetration should be counted when thinking of the number of partners. Another said that you didn’t count partners with whom you didn’t orgasm. What kind of nonsense is that? If one person’s naughty bits touch another person’s naughty bits, that’s sex, regardless of how bad it might be or how badly you might wish it weren’t. The ranking of sexual acts by acceptability, with lesbianism at the more acceptable end, has created a pseudo-rebellious safe environment for people (girls especially) to move around in.

It would be a fantastic place if sex could be appreciated for the fun, universally pleasurable diversion it is, with everyone free to enjoy their preferences and predilections without fear of moral outrage or social stigma (barring acts that actually hurt other people or children, of course). Sadly, this isn’t that world. So two girls are cool. Me wanting a bus-load of cheerleaders and two Thai midget hookers to fight under a chocolate waterfall for my amusement… not so much.

*If you don’t know what doublethink and doublespeak are, go buy a copy of George Orwell’s ‘Nineteen Eighty-Four’, heathen.

I’ll let you in on a girl secret. Seriously. The joke “well, there was that one time in college” really isn’t such a joke for a lot of girls. A lot, and I mean a lot, of girls will give it a go to some degree or another just to see how it is. This is also why you guys get Porno Lesbians™ in porn – when some director says “hey, go down on her while he fucks you” to some clearly uninhibited girl (she’s being fucked on film – exhibitions = off)… she will. Of course, say the inverse to the guy in this scene, “hey, go down on him…”, and there will be fists involved. And maybe some power tools and sports later on.

Everyone’s a little gay, I say. But it doesn’t take much social stigma of religious dogma to beat it out of most.

“Morals are the herd instinct of the individual.” – Robert Heinlein.

I do what’s best for me and mine. At least I include my valued friends in the ‘mine’ category. As J likes to point out, it’s about expedience.

The point is that there are exhibitionist lesbians, just like there are exhibitionist gay or hetero couples. And it just so happens, wonderfully, magically, that lesbian sex is something straight guys like to watch.

Also, there are bisexual women. It doesn’t always have to be straight or gay. Sometimes, you get hawt, you get very liberated, and you get bisexual… all in one. And the Heavans weep, and even the noise of birds is diminished out of respect, and the Devil bows his head. For such magic is the most potent of all.

I’m all about ME.

Rem – that’s not as bad as turning down your girlfriend and HER girlfriend who were interested in doing a little “experimentation”.

Your shame is nowhere near as pitiful as mine.

Except for me, because I am so god-like and just exude lust inspiring pheromones like a wild beast.

You got to watch lesbians in college Rem?

I once saw an albino squirrel at Jamaica Pond.

We had a party at my off campus apartment near UMD one night, and she was there with her girlfriend at the time, just hanging out in my room and stuff, talking and joking around. It got really late and I was tired from working, so I fell asleep and the next thing I know the two of them are cuddled up to me, treating me like a giant teddy bear. She was a good friend and I was still young and stupid, so I didn’t even think to try and take advantage of the situation.

I feel back asleep and they were gone the next morning. That by itself doesn’t make the story. What makes the story so tragic was what I found out the next day. Evidently the two of them decided that my bed was the perfect place to get frisky that evening, while I was sleeping in it.

I slept through a lesbian porno scene happening live, not 2 feet away from me. Now I’m a really sound sleeper, but to this day I still feel a taint on my soul over this. They did say that they made some effort to be quiet so as to not wake me up, but still.

So ashamed.

Again, you are my idol. I only got to watch them in high school, when they still had inhibitions

Nothing turns people gay…well wait I did know a girl in college who had this incredible ability to get almost any girl to try it at least once. In the time I knew her she got at least 4 girls that we knew to change sides for a extended period of time. It was quite amazing to watch the process. Nothing shakes your confidence as a man than competing against a lesbian for the same chick and losing.

And… I can’t help but imagine the snicker that Remy must have had as he submitted that story… *head shake* but topping it off with the whole “episode 69″ *cue porn music* thing… *face palm* No wonder I’m gay! ;P

Speaking of which, I’m feeling what Carl was saying about said lesbian aussie koalas. It doesn’t ‘prove’ anything, per se, but it does show, as I think he was getting at, that it’s not abnormal. As mammals go, this seems to be a perfectly natural occurrence. It doesn’t show biological cause or imperative, etc. but it does, by adding one more glaring case, shut down that whole “abnormal” argument (that the fundiest like to try persuade people). I had a great freakin’ childhood and have awesome parents, no one molested me, I was well-liked in school, but I still get people arguing that there must be something wrong with me, something ‘turned me’ gay. Being able to point out that “what? you think that koala might have had a failed relationship with a guy? was bullied in school? was molested by some sick uncle? grow up.” That feels good…

PS – Get well soon, Karl!

PPS – I vote yea on the Geek Top 3 issue. Go with whatever stories strike your fancy. Sorry. “Fancy” isn’t very manly. You may need to go cut some granite. hehe

Free the ‘net!

Without endorsing ‘piracy’, I can say the RIAA’s best friend is people’s ignorance.

GameGeek Challenge – I for one love listening to Nobuo Uematsu scores while at work, or his solo piano versions of the Final Fantasy stuff. Fantastic music!

I think Tome Sizemore was in it. He had trouble saying ‘hippocampuses’. No, it isn’t ‘hippocampii’.

And I clearly remember you detailing stabbing a rat in the wrong spot and watching him do the hemiplegic shuffle.

As for my work, I don’t stab rats in the brain. I decapitate mice, take out their brains, dissect out an area called the hippocampus and then take electrophysiological recordings from neurons and astrocytes in that region.