aka “Smooth as marble!”

Brewery: Stone Brewing Company, Escondido, CA

Brewery Description: Our flagship ale, Stone Pale Ale is our Southern California interpretation of the classic British pale ale style.  Deep amber in color, Stone Pale Ale is robust and full flavored.  A delicate hop aroma is complimented by a rich maltiness.  This is an ale for those who have learned to appreciate distinctive flavor.  Stone Pale Ale is great by itself, or with food that requires a beer of character.

Brew Style: American Pale Ale, 5.4% ABV

Recommended Glassware: Pint, Mug or Stein

The Ugly Truth: This whole review is going to be filled with the usual Stone Brewery love-fest ramblings you should all pretty much expect by now if you have been keeping up.  I’ve gone on record as saying that I love these guys and their beer, and frankly if you don’t enjoy their offerings than don’t even talk to me cause I’m liable to go off on you faster than Glenn Close in “Fatal Attraction”.

As usual, Stone Pale Ale doesn’t disappoint. The beer pours a dark amber in color with a hazy look to it possibly due to some dry hopping.  The head was an off-white, pretty lacy and with a strong retention to it.  The aroma was freakin’ solid.  I could smell it off the pour and even when the glass was a good foot or so away from me.  It had a noticeable citrus hops profile, with a bit of malt in there to balance.  The majority of the nose was hops however.

The taste was smooth as all get out.  Moderate hops profile which really kicked in towards the end with the citrus hop flavors coming through clean through the malt.  Not overly bitter in the finish, but lingers at a nice intensity that should appeal to even the weakest of hops palettes.  Mouthfeel is light medium to medium I would say with a clean finish to it, on the dry side.

Overall, just damn good.  I could drop a six pack of this without blinking and for an aging man such as myself that’s easier said than done.  Perfect amount of hops so that you get the flavor without it making the mistake of some Pale Ales and start pushing the boundaries of being an India Pale Ale.  Very, very smooth and a great Pale Ale for those who don’t want a lot of hops.

The Verdict: I was gonna go 9, but after writing the review I don’t see how I can go less than a 10 bottlecap rating.

aka “Sam Adams attempts to answer the call of Southie”

Brewery: Samuel Adams (Boston Beer Company), Boston, MA

Commercial Description: This rich and malty ale originated in Ireland in 1710. It has a deep red color and distinctive caramel flavor from its Pale and Caramel malts. The malt sweetness is balanced by the earthy notes of East Kent Goldings hops. Cheers!

Brew Style: Irish Red Ale, 5.5% ABV

Recommended Glassware: Engligh Pint, Dimpled Mug, Stein

The Ugly Truth: You know what, people can say what they want about Sam Adams but I love their beer.  I’ve rarely ever had a Sam A’s I haven’t liked.  And sadly down in the lower reaches of civilization, I can’t get access to their full range of small market brews available in Boston but fortunately they decided to open up the Irish Red to a wider market.

Sam Adams Irish Red is a solid Irish Red.  Nothing that will knock out you of the park, but certainly not something bottom of the barrel for taste and craftsmanship.  The beer pours a beautiful deep amber color with ruby highlights when help up the light.  It presents with a foamy tan head with low retention which reduced quickly after the pour.  The aroma churned up by the pour was great and strong enough that I could smell it without even having to get my nose into the glass.  Hefty caramel malt sweetness to the aroma, with no true hops profile present.  There was a hint of toffee in there as well, which rounded out the whole aroma nicely.

The taste was equally good. It had a very smooth and rich flavor to it, with a slightly slick mouthfeel and medium light to medium body. The caramel promised in the aroma comes through in the flavor, with the added hint of a buttery texture to it. No hops present, which is typically for the brew style. Solid finish, pretty dry and not overly sweet and had a slight alcohol warmness that lingered through.

Overall, a solid Irish Red style beer. I did think it could have been a little drier, but that didn’t detract from the experience. Its the typical offering from Sam Adams: a well brewed and crafted beer that was enjoyable.

Verdict: SA’s Irish Red scores an 8 out of 10 bottlecaps.

Kaaaaaaaaaahhnnn!!!!

This is either the greatest electronics device ever made or a sure sign that civilization is coming to an end.

The Realtouch Virtual Sex system (USB compatible).

found via warrenellis

aka what a**hole mixed PBR with Killian’s and bottled it?

Brewery: McSorley’s Brewery, Wilkes-Barre, PA (who just happens to be owned by Pabst Brewing Company / G. Heileman Brewing Co.)

Brewery Description: We brew McSorley’s Ale with carefully malted barley and European style hops to create a light bodied, aromatic, Irish style specialty Ale.  Craft brewed with the same care and attention to detail that has made McSorley’s a regional favorite since John McSorley’s 1854 arrival in the United States.

Brew Style: American Pale Ale/Irish specialty Ale (please note, BA has it listed as APA.  Ratebeer has it as an Irish ale.  From my taste of it, its some bastidization of the two), 5.93% ABV

Recommended Glassware: Pint glass or Mug

The Ugly Truth: sigh…I had hopes.  I really and truly did.  The label said Irish specialty Ale, which made me go “Hey, that might be some good stuff”.  Then I started writing the review and drank it.  Then I looked up who makes it.

Its PBR with a leprachuan hat thrown on to confuse you.

Bastids.

The appearence at least was good, with a strong amber color and an off white head with decent retention to it.  Slightly hazy, unfiltered look but this was pretty minimal.  Aroma was probably the best part of it.  Hops aroma, thought not very strong, and a bit of a buscuity malt presence that worked well.  Wasn’t anything remarkable about, but it wasn’t horrible.

Taste.  The TASTE.  First thoughts into my head “Oh Jesus, what the hell is that?!”.  Its just tasted…wrong somehow.  It has no hops flavor to it, but presents with this strange fruity/sweet flavor that doesn’t so much carress as rapes your taste buds.  Just not really that pleasent of a taste.  It almost tastes like they started brewing PBR, then threw something in there to try and make it an Irish Ale or whatever its supposed to be.  It just wasn’t good, whatever it was.  The finish is lingering, and just is massively sticky sweet.  Again, it was just freakin’ wierd tasting.

Overall, I’m in no rush to try it again.  Hell, it took some effort to finish the bottle I had.  I’ll chuck it a few points for the aroma and appearance but Lord it wasn’t good.

Verdict: 4 bottlecaps out of 10, like the clover I’m going to chew to scrape my taste buds clean.

A few years ago, inspired in part by the Story of the Christmas Pants, I decided to make Christmas with the Kornfelds a little more interesting. That year, as it happened, I gave everyone either a giftcard or tickets. They received them in an Altoids tin, locked with a miniature padlock, and a clue to where I had hidden the key. One was under the cat’s bowl, another in a block of ice in the freezer, etc.

The next year I carved out the insides of books and hid the real presents in there. It was fun to hear “Thank you so much!” from a sibling who thught I had actually given her Our Friend the Nematode.

This year I’ve got way more presents than family members. But none of the presents have names on them, just a number. Everyone gets a copy of a short story I’ve written and a question, the correct answer to which is a number that corresponds to the correct present. If you get the wrong answer though – and they’re trick questions so there’s a good chance you will – you’ll be unwrapping coal (and of course I went to special lengths to make sure you can’t tell before you open it).

Next year? Hmmm. I dunno yet, but I’ve got 12 months to figure it out.

Majel Barrett-Roddenberry died of leukemia last thursday, December 18th. She portrayed the characters Nurse Christine Chapel in Star Trek TOS, and Lwaxana Troi in Star Trek TNG. She also provided the computer’s voice in all Trek movies and series, except Enterprise. She was the widow of Gene Roddenberry, creator of the Star Trek franchise.

More here.

The 2009 Boston con season is about to begin!

First up is Arisia,  January 16-19 at the Hyatt Regency in Cambridge.
Boskone is up next at the Westin Waterfront, Frebruary 13-15.
AnimeBoston will be late this year – not til May 22-24 – at the Hynes. BTW, my inside source at AB assures me that the registration issues that resulted in intolerably long lines at AB2008 have been given the highest priority and will not be a problem for AB2009. (so if you have a long wait to get in, let me know and I’ll tell you who to beat up)

NESFA has a big list of northeast area conventions here.

Brewery: Pabst Brewing Company/G. Heileman Brewing Company, Texas, USA

Brewery Description: “This classic premium lager brew is crafted with a healthy infusion of 6-row barley, plus a unique combination of Pacific domestic and Yugoslavian hops.  Aged at high gravity, PBR is then cellared and then finished to the smooth, robust likeness of a fine Pilsner.  There’s no finer way to drink.”

Brew Style: American Lager/Macrobrew, 4.74% ABV

Recommended Glassware: Pint, Pilsner, or Brown paper bag wrapped around the can to hide your freakin’ shame you poor bastid.

The Ugly Truth: You know, I think its poetic that I chose PBR as the first beer I’ve reviewed in a little over 4 months.  Its considered a classic by some, loved and revered by the Hipster crowd and generally considered to be one of the giants of the cheap beer kingdom.

I now find myself here, typing at my computer in the late hours of the evening to bring you the truth, the Law even.  Laws and Truths more profound than those delivered by Moses as he descended Mount Sinai to confront the worshipers of false idols.  I am here to reveal what that brewery description seeks to obscure, to burn away the fog created by pop culture and advertising men.  My people, read that description.  Read it close and then bend your ears and hearken to the words that now flow from my tongue like luxurious streams of Guinness:

THEY ARE F*CKING LYING TO YOU!

Whoever wrote that description is in league with the Devil.  That has got to be one of the most inaccurate, misleading and blatantly false brewery descriptions ever posted here.  If PBR actually tasted like that, there would be a plethora of virgins singing its praises and bringing its healing powers to the unwashed, thirsty masses.  As it stands in its stark reality, drinking PBR is akin to having someone pour some corn syrup cut with water and a shot of alcohol into your mouth and telling you should be glad, THANKFUL even, that you are lucky to have that.

The appearance is the only thing its got going, since it accurately reflects that of the American Lager.  A pale yellow straw color, that if it went any lighter would be indistinguishable from the color of Larry Bird’s skin.  A frothy white head that disappeared faster than a Ho-ho at a Overeater’s Anonymous meeting, and light carbonation rising to the top.  The aroma was that of an Indiana cornfield in late fall, not something that should be present in a beer.  No where, and I mean no where my friends, was there a hint of Pacific domestic and Yugoslavian hops.

The taste…I wanted to scrape my tongue afterward.  I might as well have been drinking water for all the flavor that was there.  Just nothing appealing to it.  I know what some are thinking: “But…but that’s the American Lager style.”.  Well, my response to that is this:  there is a reason why PBR and the like are heavily marketed to college kids and the bar crowd, because those are the people who care the least about flavor.  There is a bit of dryness, not much, and the flavor is dominated my malt and a corn sweetness to it.  No aftertaste to speak of, just a lingering feeling of despair and disappointment with the experience that will cling to you more than the stink of the bar you were drinking in.

So I beg you my people, turn a deaf ear to the Hipsters and ad executives who wish to lead you down the false path.  Have faith and be strong.  Order something else, something with flavor, and say to the PBR: “I know you for what you are, and I cast you out demon-swill!”.

Verdict: 2 out of 10 bottlecaps, to represent the twin horns of Deciet and Malice that PBR wears.

Maybe you already know some of these, maybe you don’t.

Cafe Press is a great source for unique gifts for just about anyone. You can choose from thousands of items that other people have already designed or upload your own designs for a more personal touch. Be sure to consult the product templates page so your gifts don’t wind up looking stupid by accident.

Archie McPhee is a longtime favorite of mine for silly and kitchy stuff. Bacon flavored dental floss, Jesus air freshener, pickle band-aids, the boxing nun puppet, pirate lunch box….

Along similar lines are Baron Bob, Stupid.com and Wicked Cool Stuff.

American Science and Surplus has a lot of random items including robot parts, lab equipment, magnets and toys.

The Onion Store has a lot of… well pretty much the kind of stuff you’d expect from The Onion.

Entertainment Earth has a huge selection of action figures.

Despair.com puts a downer twist on the inspirational posters around your office.

ThinkGeek has lots of unique, cool, techy stuff.

X-treme Geek has more of the stuff that ThinkGeek’s got, but on a web page that’s somewhere between annoying and miserable to navigate.

Two new posts on the alt site for game reivews concerning my ongoing Descent: Road to Legends campaign:

Session3: Why is there a boulder flying at my head?

Session 4: RUN AWAY!! RUN AWAY!!!

On a different note, there is a very strong chance that you will see a return of Big Remy’s Beer Review either Friday or Monday.  So take heart True Believers, I will return!

Great Stuff!
Robot Chicken Star Wars Episode II

Yeah, yeah, it’s been a long while since the last podcast. Not sure how soon we’ll be able to get together for a new one, what with the (like it or not) holiday season upon us and all. He’re’s a few things for you to do in the meantime.

Video Games Live concert at the Citi Center on Friday 11/21. Features orchestral and choral arrangements of music from video games.

Benefit for Greyhound Friends in Waltham on Saturday, 11/22. Buy some crafts and help out the doggies we put out of work with question 3.

Bazaar Bizarre at the Castle at Park Plaza on Sunday 12/7. Unique crafts from local artists.

My group and I played the second session of our Descent: Road to Legend campaign the other night.  Here’s the write up on the BostonGeek alt site for boardgame reviews.

Hey all two items:

1) I’ve started a Descent: Road to Legends campaign with some friends and will be posting a running journal of the game at the BostonGeek alt site for boardgame reviews, Big Remy’s Board Game Blog.  Here’s the report from the first session.

2) I apologize for the fact that there hasn’t been a beer review in over a month.  Between the price of gas and the state of the economy right now, money has been tight on a combined teacher (the wife) and student’s (mine) salary and beer money is the first thing to go.  Things are looking to be on an upswing moneywise so hopefully soon I’ll be able to get back on track.  Thanks for the patience and emails with suggestions of beer.

That’s all for now.

It’s my life…
It’s now or never,
I ain’t gonna live forever,
I just want to live while I’m alive.

Any comments or suggestions?
Email: Colin, Carl, Captain Damage
Skype: bostongeek
Voice: 1.617.418.4113

Production Engineer: Carl “Crazylegs” Reyes
Post-production/Editing: Colin “Rock N’ Roll” Rego
All music composed and recorded by Karl “Captain Damage” Kornfeld.

So I’ve read a bunch of stuff about 4E, I’ve got copies of the books to look at and I’ve talked to a bunch of people from my local game store who have similiar tastes as mine in RPGs.

From everything I’ve seen and read, I was pretty on the fence about ever wanting to play 4E.  I really, really like 3E/3.5E.  Everything I’ve seen about 4E screams “This is for first time RPGers who only experience is WoW”.  Which, in and of itself, is fine, I really don’t have a problem with it.  My problem has come with people trying to convince me that 4E is in some way better than 3E/3.5E for people who like “realistic” mechanics in their RPGs.  I’ve listened to the arguements, but haven’t heard anything convincing.

But now something has come along that has pushed me over the edge into the territory of having no desire to play it.  DnD 4E is available as an application on Facebook.

I’ll say it again….FACEBOOK!

Any RPG system that can be distilled down to a minor application for a social networking program like Facebook is not something I would call worth playing.  Will I never try it…probably not I’m sure at some point my Will save will fail and I’ll try it out to be fair, but I’m not encouraged by this discovery.

Arrogant Bastard and Stone Brewery have come to North Carolina and Chapel Hill finally.  This place immediately became less of a hell for me to live in.

THANK YOU JESUS!

Sure, we may not like the look of the production version of the Chevy Volt, but its all about the cool tech underneath the hood, right?

Catch a glimpse of what GM has in-store, as they celebrate their 100th by hitting the embedded video at about 8:30 am EDT (pre-recorded, introductory video begins at about 7:50 am EDT).

Dragon*Con post-mortem.

Drove down. Drove back. Atlanta.

Now let us never speak of the shortcut again.

Any comments or suggestions?
Email: Colin, Carl, Captain Damage
Skype: bostongeek
Voice: 1.617.418.4113

Production Engineer: Carl “Crazylegs” Reyes
Post-production/Editing: Colin “Rock N’ Roll” Rego
All music composed and recorded by Karl “Captain Damage” Kornfeld.